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.. uh, I don't remember your name." Patterson, but call me Dave," he replied gently. "Look, Larissa, I'm afraid I'm the one who first raised the doubts about Swordsman of Atlantis. I don't know if you saw my report, but to summarize, it's not bad, but it's not good. I want to start by saying that Swordsman is one of the cleanest pieces of writing I've ever seen. I remember being a little surprised at seeing only one or two typos. You use the English language very well, in fact, impressively well. On the other hand, the characters are wooden, some of the dialogue is stilted, and the plot is very predictable. It would be possible to spruce up the characters and fix the dialogue, but the plot, well, it would be hard to do much to it without a major rewrite. I'm normally far out of town so wouldn't be able to work with you personally, but I could give you some directions to go with a rewrite, maybe some samples of how things could be changed to make it a work you'd be much more proud of.. Meri umar 25 hai.or mai ek sundar or strong ladka hu. Ye story meri or meri mom ki hai.unki age 42 hai.lekin wo dekhne mai 35-38 ke bich ki lagti hai. Unka fig hai 36 28 38 or wo bahut hi sundar hai.Ye baat aajse 3 saal pehle ki hai. Pehle to mere mann mai unke bare mai koi bhi galt baat nahi thi.lekin maine iss mai mom son ki stori bahut padi hai jis wajah se mere bhi mann mai unke saath sex karne ka karne laga. Hum ghar mei 5 member hai my mom ,dad 2 sis n me. Dad job ki wajah se aksar bahar rahte hai or badi sis (age 27)hostel mai rahti hai ghar par hum 3 rehte hai.Mai jab bhi apni mom ki gand ko dekhta tha mera lund khada hu jata tha. Mann karta tha ki abhi chod du but dar lagta tha.un dino my dad kisi kam se bahar gae hue the or choti sis mama ke ghar gai hui thi. Mai apnimom ko nahate hue key hole se dekhta tha or mutth marta tha. Ek din suday ko meri chuti thi. Mai subh ghar par hi tha. Meri mom apna ghar ka kaam khatam kar ke bathroom mai nahane gai. Mai key hole se dekhne.
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