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I knew I was a dead man walking, but I was also on a timetable. I had to hope and pray that her threat to call my mom meant that she might not if I did what she told me to do. I closed down the app, shut off the television, changed clothes, and got in the car.I felt like I was driving myself to my own funeral all the way to the house. Colored lights, Santas, reindeer, snowmen, and angels mocked me with their holiday cheer the whole time. I’m certain I knew exactly how a man being led to the gallows felt as I walked up to the door in a stiff breeze of swirling snow. Cookie opened it as soon as I stepped on the porch.“Come on then,” she said, stepping aside to let me in.As soon as I was inside, I said, “I’m sorry. I know-”“Shush!” she demanded, sticking a finger in front of my face. “Follow me.”I took another gallows walk to her room, anticipating that she was going to make me take down the camera while reading me the riot act. The door to her room was open, and she waved me inside, so. I had been rather ruthless in having her do some rather awkward things when we were in college playing drinking games. At one time, I had her showing a whole group of people how to perform oral sex on a pickle."Well, I said resignedly, grabbing my keys, "I suppose I better just go and get it done." Wait a minute," she said, "don't you have an appointment somewhere?" Er, no. Is that a problem?" Well, you don't just go and get your hair set and makeup done on a walk-in. This isn't your barbershop. Here, let me help you," she said, grabbing the phone.Before we could discuss it further, she was on the phone."Ah yes," she said, grinning and twisting her hair, "I would like to make an appointment for a wet set and bridal makeup, for this afternoon or evening if possible." A pause, and then, "Oh, and it's not for me. It's for my sissy husband." That comment had me about ready to rip the phone from her hand. "Yes, you heard me right. You see, he lost a little bet and now he gets to see what.
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