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I knew he could do better. I knew he wanted more. I knew he did not want me at all. I knew there was going to be a lot of forgiving and it was going to be done on his part. He took my hand and was a ladder that lengthened me to the floor, and there was hardness in his voice, and we were a parabola around each other, magic circles enforced us, encased us, and protected us, and he whispered my name and made it sound like summer wind of a long childhood that was to last somehow forever, and I dreamed him and he dreamed me and I held his hands and kissed his fingers that were meant to play pianos, and my penis and my balls, and he was ever, and if someone is ever, then you stop doubting them, but I was not that crazy, as we lay on the cool nubby green carpeting in the gray room and we lay side by side and looked up at the gray ceiling and the gray light bulb in the center, and he said, I will not go anywhere, I will not have a life, I will not get into drugs or booze or make a girl. My mind wandered to thoughts I didn't know if I dared entertain. I knew the rumors from high school about her promiscuity but had always ignored them. I suspected she had ulterior motives but things had always stayed pretty non-physical in the past. Many nights she had come to the hotel where I worked the overnight shift and when I napped on the floor of the office she had joined me. We snuggled together and held each other but it had all been very platonic. Once I had awoken to find my hand was on her breast and got all flustered. She had laughed it off and made nothing of it but I remembered the feel of her soft small breast and often fantasized about it. I had heard rumors that she had said she knew I was still a virgin and wanted to be the first to have me. I didn't put much stock in talk like that, but then here I was driving up to spend the night with her … alone … with much more privacy than the hotel manager’s office could offer. I got to the marina and found the boat. Diane.
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