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That’s kind of a fucked up thing for a nurse to wear, isn’t it?’ ‘Yeah, I guess so. Are you sure they only breathe through the–‘ ‘Oh, and one of them left a clipboard here last time, did I mention that yet?’ ‘No, what? Really? A clipboard?’ ‘Yeah. Like with all this paperwork on it, but it’s in some foreign language. It’s not English, but I can read the letters. Most of them, at least. Looks like Polish or something. But I can read the numbers on it, it looks like they’re tracking some kind of–‘ ‘Weird,’ said the voice firmly. ‘Whatever, I dunno – look, I wouldn’t even bother with it. So wait, back up, so you found this phone the other day and just called some number you didn’t even recognize? Why would you do that?’ ‘Well, I was in a panic, remember? I mean, I’m calmer now, but that first time I called you I was really freaking out. And what about you: if you just got some random call from an unlisted number when I called you earlier, why’d you pick up?’ asked the patient, looking. To our bed, to our couch, sometimes to our floor.No one has ever effected me quite like Trish. I suspect she took advantage of her early maturational nature, which, combined with my innocencial nature, set the table for some sort of Mao Mao spell of some sort.She can get me there the fastest, keep me there the longest, bring me back the quickest, like no one I’ve ever known.Of course, these days, she shares with Ms. Sloane — without the slightest uncertitude — the most personal details of our personal trysts. And, I suspect, but don’t know for sure, with my sainted mother, Auntie Pru, Wandy, her own mother, and the Kansas City Royals.I made a subtle, but bang-on complaint to Ms. Sloane.“Don’t whinge, Birdie. Trish and I are pals. You’re an open book. No secrets.”“But ... but ... but...”The McGovern is one of those girls — you know the type — always going on about self improvement. Studying, exercise, yoga, like that. And that’s how she got Froggy and me into walking — five miles,.
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