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Jake looked great. His hair was lighter, and he waseven more slender. He wore this tailored shirt and snug slacks. Ihave to admit I found myself staring at him at the meeting. The wayhe crossed his legs at the knees, the way he held his hands. For somereason I had these flashes of Jake in my mind appearing on my big screen TV, with the words "cute," "desirable," and "perfectwife" flashing quickly before my eyes.I thought it was sick. I mean, I'm no fag. I immediately went homeand had sex with Cathy hard. She was sniveling after, but I made hermake me dinner anyway.Then in July I saw Mandy and Jake again at a church picnic. Mandynow frightened me, and she almost lectured me about how to treatCathy -- and all women -- with respect. "You have to change yourways, David. You are far from the perfect husband." Normally Iwouldn't have taken that, but I just sat and listened. Again, herwords kind of burned in my soul. I realized if I didn't treat Cathy,and all women, better, I'd have to. He soon said "Miguel, this is what I fear." Softly with that baritone voice of his in my ear as he held me. "I fear that I'll start to love you the way you say you'll keep me in your heart, and while I love feeling this way about you, I don't like it as the same time"I turned around to face him and but my hand around the base of his neck. I said, almost tearfully "It's ok, it's ok Daddy, what you and I share is between us. I haven't felt this way about another man in a long, long time, and i welcome you starting to feel love for me.....And I think I'm light years ahead of loving you. When I said that you were a beautiful man months ago this is what I meant, exactly this, exactly while you're in my bed with me right now. I'll embrace whatever you decide, but you know I will welcome you into my bedroom anytime you want. And I mean that. Don't be frightened about developing feelings for me. It's not impossible to deeply love more than one when it comes to romance. There are men i've.
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