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One afternoon, I came back into the house after taking out the garbage, and couldn’t find Mom in her usual hangouts, the kitchen, the living-room, and her bedroom. I searched the house and froze in my tracks when I saw her opening the door to what I had told her was a storage closet.“Mom! What are you doing?” I asked frantically. I’m a grown man, mind you. But I didn’t want my mother to discover my proclivities and get the wrong idea about her son.“Oh, Steve-O, I was just checking to see if you had any more Windex in your storage closet,” mom said.I scratched my head, unable to fathom why my mother would need Windex since we had a housekeeper come to clean every Friday.“No Windex in here, Mom,” I said, trying to usher her out back into the hallway towards the living-room where I could turn on the television and distract her while I fixed the lock on my dungeon’s door.“Well, I need Windex to clean Armani’s nose prints from my window,” she complained. Armani is my aunt’s dog. Yeah, I. Today she called me at work and told me that she was standing in the doorway waiting for me, wearing nothing but a smile. Got home and there she was standing in the doorway. Good thing the door points to the side rather than right across the lane.May 1 2005She hit that same store again. This time, she bought a pair of jeans with a zipper that runs both ways, all the way from the waist in front to the waist in back and with zipper tabs at each end. Basically two legs that could be zipped together. She called it "Easy-access." Tag on the pants said Gypsy Jeans. Remember them from the '80s. Damn they looked fine on a couple of the girls in high school. Just wanted to grab that zipper with my teeth and pull.May 5 2005Donna went out with several of her friends last night. Said they were going to go to a 'ladies night out' party at one of her other friend's house. She got home real late, 2 or 3 in the morning. Smelling of cigarettes and booze. Odd as I did not think any of her friends.
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