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I have a thing for Fiona and she is completely oblivious, as far as I can tell. It was frustrating but I had said nothing about it to this point.Even more awkward? Fiona and I have our spare together and all she talks about is Curtis; all I do is nod along and stare at her.Back to the matter at hand. Today, predictably, we were talking about human reproduction in Bio. Mr. Anderson is an amazing teacher, one of the few teachers I have ever had who I truly enjoyed learning from. His success with his students was due to the fact that he wanted us to succeed, was hilarious, and was genuinely a nice guy.Remember the hilarious part? Yeah well, Mr. Anderson pops in a video on the subject of the day. After the introduction, the TV screen shows a live-action camera of deep inside a woman's vagina as a man thrusts his penis inside. Mr. Anderson's eyes open about as wide as the front cover of our textbook. He sputters a bit before muttering, "I knew I should have watched this beforehand."The. He grinned and reached out to flick a finger at my ear. I squealed and ducked, which I did well enough to avoid getting my ear flicked. Unfortunately, I hadn’t spotted that the ear flicking was a fake and ducking the way I did left me open for his real move. He reached down and gave me a thwack on my undefended backside with the wooden spoon. He called out “Ekky Thump!” at the same time as he hit me.You probably don’t know about Ekky Thump, so I better tell you. Ekky Thump was a made up martial art in an episode of The Goodies, where they took the mickey out of everything to do with Lancastrians. Dad has a copy of the episode and watches it every so often. He thinks it’s very funny. Mum says that proves that he isn’t a true Lanky because, when she saw it, she thought it was a documentary. She even says that with a straight face which makes Dad laugh more. The bit I most remember about the program is they keep hitting each other with black puddings. Black puddings are like big.
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