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'Please,' I corrected myself and recovered some composure, 'call me Neil.''Neil.' She sucked on my name like a gobstopper, trying it out then spitting it back, 'Neil...' She giggled a nervous laugh.'I don't...' I began my excuses, not really knowing where the hell they would lead. Shit, I thought.'Don't,' she interrupted. 'It's okay. You don't have to, you know, explain.'Aoife had been my student, two or three years ago now, in my advanced history class. She must have been twenty, perhaps twenty-one. She explained that she was in the final year of a law degree and had 'got into this as a fun way to earn a bit of money.' She leaned in to look me in the eye.'Are you okay?' she asked. 'I mean, you've barely looked at me.''I'm just...''Don't!' she insisted, placing a hand on my knee and looking directly into my eyes. 'It's okay to be here. I'm here too, aren't I?' She smiled, reassuringly as much as anything else.I smiled back and looked tentatively into her face. Other than a simple. . . . Yet! That was our agreement. I began to dream about intimate moments with him. I pressed my body closer to him when we met and hugged in the evening. The sisterly peck on the cheek that was permitted under our arrangement was filled with all the passion I could give it. ‘This simply could not be love,’ I thought. That would certainly ruin our arrangement. Living as we were, in the close confines of our small apartment it was impossible to avoid seeing my beautiful roommate. He wasn’t a big, muscular man and he did not stand tall, yet, he was beautiful. I often looked at his bare chest and fantasized a more intimate relationship. His bare legs, protruding from under his drawers, were straight and moved with a grace that made me light headed as I watched. Too bad. . . .’Jake must never know how he affects me,’ I thought. Then days would pass when my passion for my roommate would abate and life settled into a more balanced routine. He had his routine and I had mine. By April, I.
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