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Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail.One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.The boys began to argue over who would get. “Oh, my!” Joan blurted out, “I love red hair!”And there, catching the rays of the Hawaiian morning, was the biggest bush of bright red hair between her legs. I wondered how she’d managed to tuck it all into her miniscule thong.“Now you know my secret,” she announced proudly. “I’m a true red head.”The conversation had started out with blatant truths and proceeded rapidly to bypass the usual small talk and get on to the bigger topics of life. Her name was Roseanne; she was single and desperately looking for a mate before her eggs got too old. We knew the type; she was probably more than the average male could handle. She had finally made up her mind to take a chance and go on line with a dating service, but she didn’t have any decent photos of herself to upload.“No problem,” chimed in Joan. “Derek does this all the time for our friends. Derek, why don’t you take some pictures of Roseanne right now?”I was more than happy to oblige as Roseanne stood up, pulling on her blouse and shorts..
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