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.. She was scared. Desperately, mortally scared. She asked herself the same question she was going to ask Fran: if she wanted to escape?Only she didn't know. She couldn't make the decision now. And, when the time came, what decision would she make?Renee collapsed on the bed and the sweat beaded on her body despite the chill in the room. It's the heroin, she told herself. It's the desire for heroin that's making me sweat.But she lied to herself, and she knew it. It was fear--fear that she wouldn't be strong enough when the time came to make a choice. Fear that maybe, just maybe, she would choose to live in her body as an animal, as a manifestation of lust, as nothing.Quietly she cried herself to sleep.When Manuel came again, was it days or hours, Renee wondered dully? He unleashed them and let them sit up and eat bowls of foul smelling soup and bean tacos.Renee wasn't really hungry. She ate mechanically, chewing and gulping her food in a methodical fashion that made it disappear. The pain is sharp and surprising, and I can’t stop myself from wincing. I’m sore all over and she’s taking the fun out of it, standing over me. I want so badly to safeword - but I’m scared to say it in case you ignore it. You never have before, but it’s always been just the two of us in the past. “I want to fuck her in the ass.” Your smile gets even wider, somehow. I try desperately to shake my head but you just wave one hand as if to say, go ahead. As she moves around the table, I take small relief in the fact that I don’t have to look at her smug face anymore. Until she leans over me to whisper in my ear. “Don’t expect any more lube than the saliva you put on my dick when I fucked your slutty little face.” I’ll give her this, she’s true to her word. Barely seconds pass before she’s forcing her rubber monster into my asshole. I clench my teeth so hard my jaw is trembling because I will not, must not, cry out. I will not give her the satisfaction. It was too big for my mouth but now.
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