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One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three. The plot line, such as it was, of this one had two young women, a brunette and a redhead, paddling along a river in a canoe. Both wore only bikini bottoms, their rather large breasts showing no tan lines. The canoe pulled into the river bank and the two came ashore. They tied the canoe and then spread a blanket and began to eat lunch. Soon, however, their interest turned from food to each other and they began to embrace and kiss. Within a couple of minutes, both were completely naked and the redhead had her face buried between the brunette's spread legs. While they were thus engaged, two men wearing backpacks emerged from the woods. They stopped and watched the lovers for a few minutes and finally when the brunette came, they stepped forward and applauded. Both girls appeared startled and started to run but the men quickly caught them. They used some rope from their packs to tie the women to trees and then began to sexually tease them. When the girls didn't respond as much as the men.
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