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Really understood.”“Understood what, Connie?” I asked.“H ... How you must have felt seeing me with Mark.”“How could you not, Connie?” I asked, “I left you, divorced you, wouldn’t even talk to you.”“Oh, of course I knew that you were upset, no, angry, but I never really understood the depths of your pain until I saw you with those other women; and I never even saw you having sex with them, even though I knew you were. I thought that if I was in such pain from seeing you with other women, even though I have no claim on you, then how much worse it must have been for you, seeing your wife, the person you loved and trusted most in the world, who you believed loved and was loyal to you, fucking another man in your home, in your bed.“I felt like such a bitch, such a slut, such a...”“Shh,” I said, “I understand, but where does that leave us?”“To begin with, I’m no longer asking you to take me back.”Now, that was a surprise.“I thought that was what you wanted?” I said.“Oh, don’t get me. How exciting.Soon, I switched to Porno on my computer. I had not been laid in months. My ex-girlfriend- another doctor, some other hospital now- was one of the most boring women in bed. She would simply strip and get into bed and wait for me to fuck, no foreplay, no blowjobs, and would generally look relieved when we were done. I would probably have more fun fucking a cadaver. So, I switched to porno.Anyone who lives in a hostel and has a libido needs porno. The people around me were taking weird stuff and watching weirder porno. But I was a bit different. I liked the 'Amateur' videos a lot. Your average porno has a very large man fucking a woman with enough silicone on her to stop bullets and yet, somehow the damn thing lasts for hours. Amateur is more fun. Its realistic.Either way, I sat on my ward, a bit off the nurses' station reading porno. It was good. I was in the corner of the lobby when I saw someone move in front of me and I looked up. A patient seemed to be making her way.
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