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Larry, trying to stay serious, said "If you keep doing it, you'llshoot white stuff out. But it is even nicer to have a girl do it foryou." Seeing that we weren't paying attention to his lessons, hepulled his pants up and we did the same. Then we ran off and playedfootball and tag, our usual k**s games; skipping these lessons fornow.After he was gone, I thought about this a lot. I knew about sex asa****ls did it. No farm k** can really miss that, and the breedingof cows and bulls was very impressive to watch . Other a****ls alsodid sex openly, even our house cats, so us k**s knew about that partof sex. I didn't feel a sex drive as such yet, no desire to actuallydo the thing, but something warm was awakening inside me. I didexperience pleasure in touches on my body, especially between my legs. I had always noticed this feeling but it was stronger now and whenalone I'd rub myself gently, just to enjoy the feeling. What Larrysaid would happen, I didn't notice yet. No sign of shooting. Risa was to make time to be with me no matter how much it hurt. I wondered if Anna had a sadistic streak in her. Risa offered that Anna couldn’t comfort me herself so she sent her in her place.“You don’t have to do this Risa,” I offered.“I know you don’t understand Eric, but I do,”“You are your own person, Risa,”“Yes. But this is a cultural thing Eric. Don’t try to make sense of it. I think at least this way Anna has a way of staying connected to you. If I stopped, Anna would be cut off. She loves you. She just can’t find a way to be with you,”Strangely enough, it did help. It hurt like hell, but it did help. The child in me quit acting like they had betrayed me. I still felt cheated, but it became a dull pain; something that I could live with even if I didn’t like it.Spring break came and went, and we were finally down to the last few weeks of school again. I was doing well in my classes despite my heart being ripped apart. The assignments gave me something to focus on other than my.
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