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"Well,sleepyhead," said Monique. "I was beginning to think youwere going to sleep all night."I sat up, my memories of the night before rushing back tome. "Barbara!" I said. "Is she..." She's fine," Monique replied. "And I'm happy to reportthat her heroin cravings have gone completely."That's wonderful!" I said. "Maybe we should advertise thistreatment on TV. 'Tired of being a junkie? Become a blood-sucking creature of the night!'"Monique giggled. "As an inducement it seems to lacksomething." Not for me it doesn't," said Barbara just coming into theroom. She smiled at me. "Hey Jace," she said, using my oldnickname in the same old way as if she hadn't been missingfor a decade.I smiled. "Hey, Barb," I said. "Not much of Jason left...certainly nothing you can SEE... so how did you recognizeme last night?" I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "It was while youwere drinking my blood... it was as if our MINDS touched...and then I just KNEW!"I looked at Monique. "Quite common among close. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean.
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