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I’ve thought about seeing someone else and moving forward but every-time I look into his eyes I can’t. They are so tender, so sweet and so full of emotion that I can’t even bring myself to do it. The only reason I want to do this is because I am starting to feel as though I don’t want to get my heart broken because of an agreement I made but I can’t help to see if things could turn out positive. It’s weird but within a short time of meeting him I knew I wanted him as my own and that we would make a great couple. The question I have though is why is it taking him so long to make a decision. I admire his honesty, which makes me devoted to him. He is very compassionate and intelligent and thoughtful and I love that the most about him. I love that he is able to make my ruffled feathers calm just by being around him. He makes my nerves steady and calm to a point where I can be comfortable. In the bedroom he is very very passionate and hot and it makes me want him all the time. (Talk. "That's an understatement if ever there was one. But Iwasn't all that happy about having to live as a man to preserve ourmarriage." I know and I'm sorry for giving you so much grief. We did have a reallyfun time for a while there, but all that pleasantness vanished when wediscovered that I was stuck and had to endure womanhood until afterdelivery."She was favored with a tolerant nod."But remember that later during the pregnancy we talked about how Ithought the changes in my body were effecting my emotions? When I firstfelt Carrie stirring inside me it was like a switch was flipped and Iexperienced a deep engulfing love for her, a mother's love, I think. Andnow after delivering and caring for her, and feeding her from my ownbody, those feelings are more intense than ever." I've seen the changes in you, dear," her husband admitted. "A mother'slove can be overpowering, I'm told. And its obvious that you're totallydevoted to her." It's true. So much so, in fact, that I actually do want.
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