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So, he’s a lot calmer now.’ I responded, ‘I’m glad I was able to help y’all decide to stay.’ She finally looked at me with a sad face, ‘I have to confess, I would’ve been happy had he decided to go back. My whole life, my friends, my boyfriend…. They’re all up in Harrisburg. I never wanted to come here and I tried to convince my parents to let me finish my senior year up there. They told me they wouldn’t be able to be a family without me, so I had to make the grand gesture and pretend I’m okay with it.’ That startled me, I hadn’t ever had to deal with starting over and learn a whole new group of strangers and hope I could make friends. I started to understand how Vicky was feeling, but, I couldn’t think of any way to help alleviate her concerns. So we just stood in the night with nothing but the crickets chirping away. Finally, just to break the tension I tried to draw her out with a number of things to talk about, but every topic just died out. We both stood there uncomfortable in. ”“Pretty much. But, in the end, my heart has to belong to Elizaveta, even if getting to that point is a long journey. You, on the other hand, need emotional closeness. You never got that from Carl, did you?”“No, and that’s probably why you were my first lover, instead of him.”“But you and Bill...”“Yes, but it’s just sex, not making love.”“Ouch. Even when you and I were at our lowest point, it was NEVER ‘just sex’ for you, even though there were times you pretended it was. And even when you were trying to hurt me, you faked ‘just sex’, you didn’t actually do it. Was it ever ‘making love’ with Bill?”“I thought so, at least at first. Now I’m sure it wasn’t. I think it was a mistake.”“If that’s true, you don’t need my advice.”Jocelyn smiled, “I think I just needed to be able to say it out loud, and I knew you’d understand.”“Because Jos and Mik know each other really, really well.”“What time will you be back tonight?”“Well, I have Vespers and then dinner at Elizaveta’s house. I’m usually.
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