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" You poor bitch," I said and went across to her, "That's fucking rough," I said as I slipped my hands up her knee length skirt."No stop it!" she insisted but I dragged her knickers down. "No!" she wailed."You invited me in for a fuck so you get fucked." I said."No!" she wailed, so I tore her blouse open, her tits were huge,"No!" she said, "I want you to vote with the Tories, demand that Pedophiles are strung up from lamp posts by a meat hook up their ass!" Oh," I agreed, "And that Vicar bloke put you off blokes for life?" I enquired.She nodded, "What a fucking waste," I said, "Who is this vicar cunt?" "Oh, why?" she asked."Want's fucking stringing up," I said, "Look who is he?" St Theo's, he's still the vicar of St Theos." she said, "But surely?" Cunt," I said, "Can't let cunts like that get away with it can I?" I said, "Not turning kids queer."She smiled at me, "I want to cut his balls off." she said."How about we hang him by the ass hole from a meat hook wrapped around a bell rope. Then, over the years, after a couple of people left and another one retired, I rose to Assistant Customer Relations Executive on the esteemed Gibraltar Soup account.(Chivalry precludes me from mentioning my following in the footsteps of certain family elders. Re: my perhaps inclusion in the Advertising Industry’s Whose Who. It could happen someday, I will go so far as to say that.)Now, it’s not all glamour and three martini lunches. In fact, no martinis; the Gibraltars are devouted Mormons. So ... tact, delicacy, discretion, that’s my middle name. Or, names, for you technocrats.The account manager herself, Louise Lane, is what you might call old school. In fact, I do. She told me, for some reason gritting her teeth, “Birdie, I’ll let you meet the Gibraltars when Hell ... when you’ve studied the account. Understand the campaign. Can recite the goals, strategies, tactics — in other words, after you’ve learned your corporate catechism.”Like I mentioned, old school. All that business.
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