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Storks and ostriches accepted of course. And she’s got a lovely arse on her. Class and arse… luvly-jubly! In fact, I’d been thinking about her more than I should, truth be told. In the end I decided to cycle across town on my mountain bike because it was a bit too far to walk and it would be good because I could keep the bike out of sight once I’d ensconced myself in Melanie’s house. Whereas the Porsche would have attracted attention, nosey neighbours seeing somebody else’s car on the drive..? ‘Ello-ello..? What’s going ‘ere then?’ You never know who’s watching you, eh? Anyway, Melanie might take an extra fancy to me in the kinky lycra, because it shows the old bollocks off if nothing else. There we go… cheering myself up already. It don’t take me long. I got round to Melanie’s on the far side of town, the nice part, in about twenty minutes. I had a quick gander before I went up the drive, just to make sure there were no curtains shifting shiftily in the neighbours’ windows. The. I don’t want to fall for an American.’ Laura held her at arms length and rolled her eyes as she shook her head and smiled. ‘Just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean you’re going to fall for him. Trust me, 99.9% of the male population are totally unbearable, there is next to no chance you will fall for him. Just ask him if he wants to hang out, see some of the sights together or something. Life is always brighter when you have someone to hang out with.’ ‘He’s probably nuts,’ Ellia complained, unable to hide the doom and gloom she felt in her heart. ‘He’s probably part of one of those crazy cults you hear about over there. He probably already has three child-brides.’ Laura laughed. ‘You know that’s not true. America is a big place, I’m sure there are some normal, sane-ish Americans. They can’t all be in cults.’ She knew she was being stupid. She knew Micah was from a normal family and that he wasn’t married. Not that he’d told her, she’d read about it in the newspaper. The tram.
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