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How have I used this second chance? What, if anything, have I achieved? Is it what I want, or is it just what the Guardians have asked me to do? Where do I fit into this? Is there a way to make my wants and needs come in line with that? Should they?The questions kept coming. I cleared them from my mind and concentrated on just meditating. Soon I had reached that quiet place I sought. I stayed in that state until I felt at peace with myself and the goals I had set. Then I slowly brought myself back to a more aware state until I was awake. I felt better, and I felt less stressed about what I needed to be doing. I decided I would do this every morning to get back into the practice.In my past life, I read the daily newspaper and the Wall Street Journal, so I went down to the lobby and picked up complimentary copies of each. I read them throughout breakfast. I decided I wanted some more information. So, I rode my bike to the library and went inside. I asked the reference librarian where. This is the start of my day, every day. He pulls out of my mouth and I drag air into my lungs, my hands are cuffed behind my back so I can’t wipe away the spit and come that dribbles down my chin. ?Well done you had 30 seconds to spare? he tells me, ?now do you want to know what the surprise is for tonight?? I look up at him, ?Yes please Master?. ?Well slave, I have been planning this for weeks, and tonight we are having a dinner party.? My eyes widen ?Oh no Master, please not that, please I beg you?. He starts laughing again, ?You have no say in the matter, and for disagreeing with me you get 10 lashes.? I start to cry, the last dinner party he planned had me out of action for over a week and it was sheer hell. He laughs again, ?Cheer up my little slut, it won’t be that bad?. He goes to the closet and pulls out his favorite horsewhip. ?Now you know what to do.? My hands are still cuffed behind my back, I stand and bend over, presenting my ass to him. The horsewhip.
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