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Her lips were like juicy plums, I bit them and sucked on them. Then I kissed her chin and neck, then I unhooked her bra and pulled her shirt up over her little tits. They were pert, with little black nipples. She was tiny all over, about 5'3" and around a hundred and five pounds soaking wet. I kissed down her stomach, she had a six pack. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on this girl. "What are you doing?" she asked. I didn't reply I just pushed her legs back, holding them there as far apart as they could go.Now when I tell you that I have skills in this area, what I mean to say is that I am a third degree black belt in cunalingues. I will make your girl's head spin. I will make your girl commit fraud, perjury, larceny and even armed robbery with my hot and masterful tongue. Seriously, don't ever let me catch your girl on payday because when I get done with her she will come home broke. You will find her on the phone taking out a second mortgage on your house. Don't fuck with. When you have stopped laughing be sure to forward this on to others who would enjoy a good story.This one is compliments of Anonymous.An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf so he puts his name down at the local Club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down, so off he goes down to the Club to ask the reason why!Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish Golf Club?Scot: Aye, and I am as Scottish as ye are Jock.Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.Scot: Aye, so do I.Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?Scot: Aye, neither do I.Secretary: But you are a Jew?Scot: Aye, I be that.Secretary: So you are circumcised?Scot: Aye, I be that too.Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.Scot: Och, away with ye, I ken ye have tae be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen, and I ken ye have tae be a Catholic tae becoom a.
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