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We go almost every year. It’s a great time. Have you ever been? I don’t recall seeing you, but it’s a pretty big event.”Sam smiled a bit wickedly. “I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never been. I don’t have a wife to swap,” he chuckled.“So, about that phone?” John asked, suddenly feeling a little awkward.“I’m really sorry, but my phone has no signal at the moment. The storm hit the closest cell tower this past week, so what signal I have been getting is weak, and hit or miss at best,” Sam answered.“Oh, well that’s disappointing! Looks like we are going to miss out on the Friday night activities,” Beth pouted.The kettle started to whistle as Sam suggested they get out of their wet things and sit by the fire to get warm. Beth felt a little ashamed of herself for whining, when they were so fortunate to have found someone kind enough to take them in out of the cold.“We really appreciate your hospitality,” Beth said, trying to sound more gracious.“It’s my pleasure!” Sam said, “I rarely get. “It’s the cuff from an infant sphygmomanometer and ...,” he started. My eyebrow hadn’t moved. He got the message and started dumbing it down. “It’s the cuff from a blood-pressure machine for babies. It’s sensitive to pressure and it can be used to send signals down the wire ... like a remote control.” “Soooo,” I began slowly, thinking it through, “if I had a baby I could get it to remotely control my vibrator?” “The cuff doesn’t go on a baby’s arm, it goes on me.” “But it’s too little for you … Ohhhhh!” I brightened, suddenly catching up. “It doesn’t go on your arm!” “Very astute,” he mocked gently. “But I still don’t get it. If the cuff goes on you … and you go in me … where does Earnest go?” He didn’t answer, but looked at me waiting to see if I would work it out. Then the light-bulb went on in my head and I turned on him with feral light in my eyes. “Not on your life! My puckered little back door is strictly one way, buddy.” I sounded angry, but there was that little tingle of.
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