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Dave turned and headed into his home to change into casual clothes.A little later as Dave was helping to tend bar, Elise draped an arm around her older son and kissed him. “Hello, David.”“Hello, Mother. Welcome back. How long are you staying this time around?”“A week or so. I leave Wednesday morning. Are you trying to get rid of me when I just arrived?” Her question was really just teasing.Dave laughed, “No, no. I like having you around, plus you’re a big help, and you’re just full of surprises on every visit. I like surprises, even some of the ones where I was kind of involved. I was surprised to see you and Dev a little earlier.”Elise looked at him in a teasing way, “He was spectacular, but whatever else have I done to surprise you?”A few of the others were listening in on the conversation and almost laughing.Dave put his finger aside his head. “Let me think! Hmmmmm. Aaron is only my half brother. You and dad were swingers. Dad got Betty Watson pregnant with a baby that turned out. The boss sent me to Doylestown. The traffic was really bad and I just got back." I spoke with Tom at his house at 6:30. He said you took a personal day today and didn't go to work! You also left your cell phone on the kitchen table so I couldn't reach you!" screamed Brandy. "You are a bad liar and a miserable fuck!" Now that we have that settled, I'm turning in, Sweetheart," I smiled. "I'm bushed." Settled? What's settled? So far we've determined you are telling me a lie. How about the truth?" demanded Brandy."I was car-jacked by pirates. They took me to an old warehouse to hold me for ransom, but some aliens beamed me up to their space ship and sunk probes into my teeth, eyes, and genitals," I replied. "They left the room and I managed to untie the knots on the rope they had used to immobilize me. Then I had to figure out how to work their controls. I accidentally beamed myself down to Scranton. I had to hitch a ride with a trucker back to my car. Don't worry, though. I feel pretty.
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