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I picked up awrist cuff and fiddled with it for a while. Suddenly a wave of resolve washedthrough me. Who cared what Michael thought or said; he?d gone from my life. Whywas his disapproval still a factor? Why was I so scared to indulge in somethingthat made me feel so good? And if it all went wrong, well, we?d cross thatbridge if and when we got to it. Having made my mind up I knew I had to act or I?d startgetting doubts again. First things first, I had to do something about myappearance, something to lose that frumpy look that had become my everydayimage. I opened the wardrobe and started to search through. Somewhere I had mynaughty schoolgirl outfit but, give the difference in our ages, it didn?t seemquite appropriate. I couldn?t see Jan as the stern headmistress. Anyway itlooked far too tarty and that wasn?t the image I wanted.? If I were going to do this I wanted to lookfar more sophisticated. Finally I chose a black cocktail dress that I hadn?tworn in ages. Nothing too sexy, not. I was at an all time low in my life when my white bf dumped me for another girl, he cheated. I felt so dumb and used and just gross but there was a bright side. School at the time was over and summer had arrived. I wanted to change, I wanted to try and feel better about myself but I didnt know how I would do it. Little did I know that the change would happen all on its own. In the summers Id go to my grandparents when they were away to swim in their pool. With the house to myself and the fenced in pool I enjoyed the peace and quite. It was a pretty far walk to their place, but when I finally got their, settled in and was ready to swim I realized...I forgot my swim clothes. Normally I wore a shirt and gym shorts that were light to swim in to hide my body. Upset, I looked around the house to see if I could wear something else when I found one of my cousins bikini's she left. I will never forget how skimpy it looked, an all black top with low cut cups and a thong bottom. Shocked I.
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