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He would just whisper into my ear, Its okay, be a good girl. And I would then feel the warmth of his hand on my bare skin. The reason I mentioned to you about his ability to manipulate people is because I remember a few times when I would resist and whine about the naughty games we would play, but when I resisted and complained, he would get ice cold towards me. He would ignore me, not talk to me, not listen to me and pretend I wasnt in the same trailer home. Of course this would drive me crazy until the point that I would come to him giving into what he wanted even as I got older to the point of me undressing completely just to get him to pull me onto his lap. Its one of the things I struggle with most. Professional mental health people tell me over and over that it wasnt my fault but I carry so much guilt for the times I would go to him and seduce my way into his attention. If you have ever have wondered about the mental anguish and pain regarding rape I can tell you from my own. RAPE me all night long.Your (slut),Susan"I deleted the e-mails immediately, but I knew the cops could retrieve them. Next I visited my favorite rape/incest sites on her computer--and deleted the history and cookies so she would not know. She never suspected--after all she did ave a password. I did it slowly over a few months but soon a lengthy pornographic trail was made. I even went to the library and signed on to hotmail and sent her filthy e-mails, when I knew she would be out of the house for several hours. I rushed home and deleted those too. Add in her reputation as a filthy slut, and I was almost ready.The final piece of the puzzle came from a story I read called "Rape/Betrayal #8 A Mother Betrayed." In it, the author explains why it is better to rape a family member. He suggested that shame alone will often prevent a family member from reporting it. Also they may not want a loved one to go to jail. I realized that evidence like stray fingerprints, and hair could be explained.
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