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Today was the tip of the iceberg.I met a woman in a club last night who said she would show me a good time.We went outside and she ran a 40 meter dash in 4 seconds.So I’m rubbing away at this old lamp when WHOOOSH a genie appears as they do; true to form he says “What is your wish?”So after about 2 seconds thought I say “I’d like a new Ferrari please”“Sorry,” says the genie. “no can do - I’m the Lambourne genie”Captain Nemo’s submarine ‘Nautilus’ has finally been disarmed.It is now called the ‘Naughtyless’A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.”He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so,. She said yer and I could watch it on the security cams on the screen since they had nitevision. she said I am gonna get some of that during this vacation. I said go out and hand him andother beer and I would be right out. she sat down in the chair closest to hm and said have another. She noticed he was rolling another and sat his beer next to him. she said I am going to get to know my nephew this vacation. I brought out a cake and it had 2 candles in it and a bottle of jaigermeister. I started sinfing happy birthday and he realized it was after midnight. he was now 17. He blew out the candles and I poured 3 shots. We toasted his birthday and then he lit his joint. we smokedit again and peggy was feeling no pain. she said she was going to go to bed. Tod said first lets do one more shot. I poured and we toasted he said to my uncle and aunt. 2 of the coolest adults I know. we drank em down and peggy said good night and she kissed me and then she bent over in front of todd and kissed him.
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