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The place was run-down – collapsed outbuildings, house long gone. The land’s leased to a guy who runs a few cattle, so it’s got a little bit of electricity for a well because cattle need water.We towed an almost new travel trailer onto the property with the intent of cleaning the place up for a home site, the actual house to be built sometime in the future.Jay rented us a tractor, one of those pretty good sized things like we had around the construction site, with a front end loader bucket on one end and a backhoe on the other. I thought that he’d operate it while I did things on the ground but that wasn’t HIS plan.“The real work’s on the ground. Requires muscle. You run this thing.”I guess I could have played my ‘scared little girl’ card but I haven’t ever done that with Jay before, so he showed me and I learned.We were doing a fantastic job clearing the old buildings. Jay had us piling these big timbers from the original framing into neat piles. He says there’s a market for this. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally, the last soldier was addressed. “And you, Private, where would you like measured?”“From the tip of me penis to the base of me balls, Sir!”, retorted the private.The commander replied, “I must admit this is quite an unusual request, Private, but it’s your decision.” He ordered the private to drop.
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