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They were playing ‘High-Tech Redneck’ – man, I do love that great George Jones song – and we did a lively two-step. We did a couple more, then they started on a couple of line dances and when they started playing ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’ I cut loose and got all sweaty myself. JAKE I finallydanced a couple of waltzes with Molly – a cute ol’ gal I fooled with once in a while. I saw that freckle-faced gal dancin’ a line dance and she sure looked good in that jean skirt. Looked like she didn’t have anything to be shamed of under those roses on her shirt. Molly cut out on me to go to the bar where she wuz the late shift bartender. I wuz standing there watching her butt walk away and someone bumped into me, liked to knock me over. I turned ’round and caught freckle-face lookin’ at me a little pissed off. She’d lost her ugly little hat and her curls were looking like they were trying to cut and run – kinda reminded me of that surly old sheep dog got caught in the electric fence that time … damn. ”“And that thinking is exactly why you are slower than molasses in the arctic. Let me show you.”I draw my iaito and raise it to a high guard, then instruct, “What you did is just bring the sword down by lowering your arms.” I do it, and it barely makes a noise. I then lift my sword back to the high guard and continue my instructions, “This time when I bring the sword down, the hand closest to where the pommel would be on a western sword, I am going to pull back as hard as I can, so my hand is almost at my chest. At the end of the swing I lightly punch my navel with the but of the handle. As for the hand closest to the blade, I am going to push out. Now, listen to the difference in speed.” WHUUMM. It is so loud you would think I was a Jedi, wielding a lightsaber.”“Holy shit, no wonder you shattered the sword over my head. I have to try that.” He lifts his sword and swings it down. This time his sword is considerably louder but still not as loud as it should be.“You are slowing the.
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