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She had everything arranged and we were the only family so we pushed everything through. If you don't mind going to a Highpoint game, we can talk tomorrow night." I don't mind at all. I sort of promised Mary I'd ask if it was OK for her to go with us. I totally understand if you don't want her." Hold on a sec... Daddy? Can Jack and his sister come with us to the game tomorrow?"I heard something in the background."He says it's OK. Why don't we pick you up around 6:15?" That will be great. And I'm sorry about your aunt. Give your father my condolences." That's sweet. I'll tell him. See you tomorrow night."That was that. No "I don't ever want to see you again," no "I don't want to talk to you, you loser," just "we can talk tomorrow night." She didn't even ask what I wanted to talk about.It was beginning to look like I nearly drove myself crazy and lost my first ever swim events over nothing. Was Mary trying to drive some kind of wedge between the two of us?No, she just said that Jill. It is not possible for a man to caress this girl he loved when he is torn apart by divided needs. Always there must be something lacking, something to yearn for elsewhere. Yet for the woman too, is she not susceptible to similar contradictions? Does she not want to be seen as the person she is, capable and intelligent as well as beautiful? As well as beautiful: yes there it lies, a few simple yet tricky words. Does she not seek a man who will understand her and be attentive towards her? Yet at the same time, does she not yearn for the animal in him to desire her and to take her, willing or no? To be the object of desire that he cannot control, is that not also what she seeks? How often does the girl run off with the philanderer and leave the supportive steadfast husband behind? Yet what a terrifying admission it is for her to own up to, acknowledging that she will yield to his demands just because he has demanded access to her. Is it not little wonder she shrinks from accepting this.
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