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Iwanted nothing more than to run home and hide under my covers and cry,but that wasn't something I could do. I was on stage in front of 20,000people. I could not cry now.Josh seemed to be hurting too. I did not know if he was upset that hehad made me feel this way, or upset about whatever reason he decided hecouldn't be with me. Regardless, it left us to sing the song with amelancholy feel to it that completely fit with the message the song wasportraying.Right after the instrumental piece was a line that I had sung manytimes over the last couple of days, but it had never affected me likeit did while I stood on that stage. Josh and I sang the line together,but it was the words that made me jolt inside. The line talked abouthow it was better to hurt than to not feel anything at all.My ability to keep myself from crying ended at that moment. The tearsweren't pouring out, but I could feel one or two run down my face as Ijumped straight back into singing the song. I wasn't sure if my. Goddamn it! Not for you it wasn't! You hunched that pussy right up to me the very first time!" I loved you, Boyd... that's why! I wanted it to be good for you. It did hurt me, but I didn't let on because I knew you wanted it to feel good to me too. I acted like it did for your sake, darling... that's all. I swear that's the way it was. You were the first... the only man for me."Boyd glared coldly at her. His voice was sharp and cutting as he spat, "I don't believe I was the first... not now... not after what I saw tonight. You lay right there in front of me and let that son-of-a bitch stick his mule cock in you."Anger mounted in Faith until it overcame the humiliation of her lustful abandon on the Leatherman's patio. "Why you self-righteous prick! I saw you and Lucia too, you know! You pervert! She sucked your dick, and don't try to deny that you loved it! Shit yes, you liked it! You let her take it in her mouth while you watched Dirk and me fuck! Why didn't you stop us if you wanted.
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