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And school would be starting in a week and a half, too. Somehow I just knew that everyone around me would know what I had done with my mother. Fuck, I wasn't about to tell them, but somehow I just knew. But, maybe I would find some girl to be with, if things did not go like they usually did when I tried to find a girlfriend. Anyway, Jennifer was my girlfriend before she left. I couldn't just forget that. I didn't know what to do.The confused part I mentioned not only had to do with my relationship (or lack of) with Jennifer, but also mom. Since dad left, then her best friend and her daughter, mom had started doing alot of church work again. Oh, she was home in the evenings, but even when she was there she just seemed so distant, and tired. She was always pulling away from me. I didn't know if she was feeling differently about me, or what. But I did know this - I had to do something. It couldn't continue like this.One evening mom and I had our dinner, and as usual she just seemed like. Sarah wasn’t much better, but for her it was mom. I guess I understood. Sarah had told me when we first met how she’d been an only child, and how when she was a freshman in college and her parents were on their way to visit her when they’d been in an accident and both been killed. She explained how she found out later there wasn’t any money. She’d had to drop out of school and fend for herself. She’d been struggling to get along, holding odd jobs here and there when she met me.Sarah really loved my mom; it was like my mom had taken over for her deceased mom. I remember how night after night before we got married and then even after how my mom was always fussing over everything Sarah did. She took her shopping, bought her clothes, fixed and re-fixed her hair and makeup. It was like my mom had found a daughter, and Sarah had found a new mother. There were nights when dad was real bad coughing and wheezing and trying to breathe; that was before he finally retired, mom would go in Sarah’s.
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