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As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a. I can never be bothered cooking just for myself and it's goodfor my figure to go hungry sometimes.So now I've eaten, done some vacuuming and watched a couple of soap operasand there's nothing else to do but sit and wait until Dave comes home to me.I think about the girls he must be drinking with and chatting up right now. He always says, "out with the boys", but I know there are girls as well,cute young graduate students that he has taking instrument readings, washingflasks and sweeping floors, just for the chance to work with the greatchemical genius. He tells me all about them, how they laugh at his jokes,what clothes they wear, how big their tits are. I know he does it to makeme jealous, make me work all the harder to keep him, but it works. I don'tknow that he actually fucks them, but I bet he does, at one-to-one seminarsin his office, or when he goes off with them to conferences. He alwayscomes back to me though. I'm always there for him.Dave never tells me exactly what.
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