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I resolved finally that age presented a need for change, perhaps. All good things must come to an end? That I needed to evolve? It was like an introvert trying to be a great salesman. The technical aspects of the job might not be terribly challenging to learn, but the people, the constant people. An introvert isn’t wired that way, to always be with people, to talk, to create talk, to make others easy in a situation. An introvert wants to tell people to leave, get away, and stop bothering me. That’s the way I felt. To always be in control, to find my own satisfactions and experiences was for me like a fish to live out of water.I was on my side staring out the open balcony door of my suite. I love this room. I loved it from the moment I first moved into it, and that wasn’t when I first came to the estate. It was much later. There were French doors that opened out to a small balcony that overlook the pool and patio and the back of the property. The room was large, as all the bedrooms. I told him about the many times I would excuse myself to the bathroom during our parties, only to sneak away from him to have a quick fuck with his friends. I told him about the gangbangs (yes, plural). He listened, his face red hot, his pursed lips hiding his clenched teeth. I was shaking throughout the entire conversation. Over the past several months, I had never thought about or could have prepared for this moment. I was too busy having fun and not thinking about his reaction and the consequences they would bring. He was upset, not at what happened, but the lies that kept him in the dark.When I was done telling him, my husband walked over to the window, looking outside blankly, letting it all sink in, the lies and the deceit. He was shell shocked with the new information. Then he said something: “Mexico ... was Mexico a part of this?” I put my head down, more tears coming out of my eyes. “Oh no,” he said. “FUCK NO! YOU DID NOT GO AWAY WITH THEM TO MEXICO AND LIE TO ME ABOUT IT!”.
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