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I am – I was – the son of an affair between our mother and Lord Wellington. I suspect that you are, too. I’m sorry. I have considered how to tell you for several months now and I could come up with no better way than the blunt truth. Our mother committed adultery against the man she married and we are – or at least I am – the result. I saw Lord Wellington the day he was executed. I looked at the man and saw my face in 30 years. His daughters will be in the castle soon. You will recognize them immediately. You share the same age; the same build; the same hair color. They are twins and you could be the third if you cut your hair shorter.”Tears formed in Elizabeth’s eyes as she looked at her brother.“What of Father?” she asked. “I mean, Lord Burbridge.”“He is still our father,” Jonathan said firmly. “If you attempt to say otherwise, I will turn you over my knee regardless of your age or my infirmity.”“Has he disowned us?” Elizabeth asked. “Are we disavowed?”“No,” Jonathan told her.“So. ... please no...I HAVE BREASTS. HOLY FUCK MOTHER OF GOD I HAVE FUCKING BREASTS.What the hell happened? Oh shit, oh shit, shit, shit, shit--I close my eyes and slowly count to 10. This can't be happening. Thiscan't be happening. This can't be happening.10's not enough. I keep my eyes closed and count to 20.I open my eyes. This has to be some sort of prank, right? Some sort ofweird, twisted, practical...I look over at the lump sleeping next to me. Wait... is that A MANsleeping in bed with me? WHO THE FUCK IS THAT??He snuffles and turns over to face me, eyes still closed. He looksfamiliar. He looks just like...Me.Oh fuck. Oh fuck!It must be a dream. This has to be a dream. I'm dreaming. I must bedreaming.I slip out of bed and stand up as quietly as possible so as not to wakethe stranger-doppelg?nger sleeping next to me. On soft pads, I walkacross the bedroom. My body moves weirdly. It's all out of balance. Ifeel like I have to stand up straighter and hold my shoulders back. Thebreasts on.
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