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I've started carrying a razor round with me now, in the pocket of my coat. It's not like the big fucker I keep in the bag behind my chest of drawers, or the knife I keep in my desk, but a little one, still in the casing. It's enough to cause pain and to draw blood, and it will do for when I just can't wait until I get home.It's impossible to describe how it feels to hate yourself so much. To loathe and despise every inch of your hideous, malformed body; to live every day in a prison constructed from your own flesh and blood.***Friday: more of the same, really. I don't get beaten up, and I don't get taunted that much. My day finishes at two, so I get home quite early. I go and shut myself in my room, and put on some music (the Manics; natch). I lie there for a bit, on my sofa, thinking. I get a sudden flash of inspiration, and reach for my pad and pen.I've been scratching out this particular poem for a while now; it's not coming very easily. Writing about my self-harm always. Why not walk around in swim trunks, it's legal and you can't wear much less and still be clothed.Guys have an advantage here because they can wear tight shorts or swim trunks and when they're hard it's obvious what's going on, and unless you throw a rock as someone, it's perfectly legal to have a hard-on that shows, as long as it's covered. (Yes, it takes some guts.)As far as the girls are concerned it's obvious what part of her under garments to leave off. Yes, there's nothing sexier than a couple of nipples pushing against a thin t-shirt. Women can also be exhibitionists without ever worrying about getting in trouble for it. I can't think of any guy who would complain about a little nipple action.4. SURROGATE EXHIBITIONISM: Simply put; take a picture of your "body parts" or "whole self" that can't be recognized as you personally -- and place the picture somewhere, where it will be found; while you watch.I did this as a teenager. I took a Polaroid of my hard-on and stuck it in a.
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