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I called Katie on her cell phone before I went up to the room. I missed her a lot. I told her some of the conversation I’d had with Mom on the way, and that she knows we’re having sex.“She’s going to kill me,” Katie gasped.“No, she’s not,” I assured her. “She would have said something a long time ago if the idea of us having sex upset her. She actually thinks we started having sex a long time before we actually did. What made her suspect is that I kept coming home freshly showered.”“You did say she was always giving you that smirk, acting like she knew something,” Katie giggled. “Now we know why.”“I guess so,” I shrugged, “but anyway, she says she’s fine with us having sex as long as we’re safe. She doesn’t want to be a grandmother anytime soon.”“What about your dad?”“Mom says he’s either clueless or he’s OK with it, too. He hasn’t said anything to her either way.”I was very horny that night. Part of it is that I’m fifteen years old, but it’s also because this is the first weekend. .. okay.”“I’m not coming in, don’t worry. I-” she heaved a breath. “I know you don’t love me.”“De-, honey, of course I do but-”Her eyes shut tightly fighting back tears and pain. She both wished she could run into his arms and be loved and wished she had the gun in her hand to kill him or herself. But she had neither, “Stop! Just stop. Don’t talk.”Her eyes remained shut, the world was dark, even with the sounds of birds off in the distance, she was more aware of the sound of her heart thumping in her chest and the breathing she was fighting to keep regular. “You know, I was thinking about killing myself a lot lately. When I figured out the truth about everything. I just wanted to die. I wanted for you to save me, to make everything okay. But it’s not okay.”“I kept telling myself I was okay, when I knew I wasn’t,” she stopped. She wanted to tell him about the drugs, and the man in the limo and everything. But all at once, she didn’t. This was her story. This was her life. Her eyes.
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