Not Even Worth A PG Rating, But I Love That... porn video
......I...... I am a chick!!I start to sob, (again). What the hell is this. I never even cried when we lost the grand final, although that is an acceptable occasion, and now I'm tearing up all over the place. Pull yourself together!! Pull yourself together or your mascara will run and you'll look like a racoon. It's supposed to be waterproof, but you know. No - I don't know, at least I'm not supposed to know. But now apparently I do. 4 hours in that chair and I'm like a little sponge. A completely clean slate, absorbing it all. Fucking Beauty therapist!!Not only do I look like a woman, but I nearly started to think..............LIKE A DUCK!!!!If it looks like a duck......acts like a duck..........quacks like a duck.........it is a duck!!!That is what she had said. Physically, behaviourally, emotionally. So she has made me look the part, and retail therapy for my mood, and crying at the drop of a hat.... I'm starting to act and feel the part.I have to stop this.I suddenly feel in. Though I know that not a small number of my fellow 'whites' (Caucasians, etc.) typically look at young African men like Ahmed with trepidation, and I think their feelings are justified, but not because I agree with their racist motivations for it, but because our long history of mistreatment and exploitation of Africa, and it's peoples, is so incredibly shameful. So, this particular form of trepidation arises (I think) out of an acknowledged, or unacknowledged, guilt for that! In fact, this is the single biggest motivator for both Alicia, and myself, for inviting Ahmed to get her pregnant---for, in doing so, our society, or world in general, will see that there are ways out of the poison and vitriol and secret fear that lies beneath all white supremacist (racist) rhetoric! To admit, openly, that whites have SO MUCH to atone for in regards to not just economic exploitation, but the guiding racist narrative that under girds so much of the way Africa has been treated is frightening for.
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