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And it's like I could only hold myself together until I got here, and now I'm falling apart.I'm sitting on the couch with my head in my hands, trying to breathe, but I'm still shaking so hard I can only get little sips. And I hear her voice. It's sleepy and worried and I scrunch my nails into my hands until they slip under the skin because I woke her up. And it was a mistake to come here, but I didn't know where else to go, but I can't move. I can't even turn my head to look at her. I can only sit here and rock back and forth while my muscles tremble incessantly. And I hate myself. Hate myself for being so weak and not being able to control these fucking feelings.She's coming down the stairs and walking around the sofa, "I got worried when you didn't come up and- Sam?" My eyes feel hot and messy, and I can feel them prickle, and when I say her name it comes out all mangled and broken.She's hugging me, rocking back and forth with me and she's terrified. Because I'm supposed to be. Her daddy had told her good girls have vaginas, girl friends have a pussy, slut’s have a cunt. Terri had a cunt. She couldn’t remember when she didn’t like to rub it. She would lay in bed at night, read a book. Her feet would be together, with her knees way out to the side and rub herself. She could remember all the way back when she was four liking to rub herself. At first she would hide it, but her mommy caught her doing it once, and told her not to hide it. Her mommy told her she like to rub herself too. It is why she never wore panties she like the feeling she got when the wind blew up her skirt, or when she was driving she could reach under her dress and rub herself. From that day forward Terri never wore panties and would rub herself anywhere she was. Although she got in trouble at school and had to wear them at school.Her brother had introduced her to her future husband to her when she was 13 years old. He was a brother of one of his friends. He lived in the neighborhood and.
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