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"Good, then I'll see you sometime tonight," Wilma informed me.After her call I went to the trike to remove my new fishing rig. It was the seven piece, telescoping fishing pole. Not rod but plastic pole which was the replacement for the poles I had used with Shawn. Mine would fit on the trike easily. I used a fake pole, kite string, a hook, and a fake worm to fish. I tried as hard as possible to not catch fish. I used the time to sit outside, work on my tan, and also to work on my plans.The plat at the moment was to increase the production of illegal alcohol. I knew that me and the mad mechanic could come up with a still that didn't look like a still. One of the secrets to getting away with it, or so I thought, was to trip no automatic triggers.I planned to buy the corn as feed for deer or other animals. Then I would grind it myself. I might need a better grinder than the coffee grinder, but I was sure that it would be easy to get a commercial coffee mill. Sugar might be a problem. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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