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If you or anyone you know is trans, I fully support you/them. I’m just not one of those people.I sat my mother down and explained to her that I was comfortable being a man. I had no control over my physical characteristics or of being on the receiving end of this hormonal imbalance. I was good with who I was becoming and how I looked.“I’m a guy mom, a man, and I will always be just that,” I said to her in a confident voice.“OK, Mr. Man, tell me, what specific role do you see yourself in a gay relationship? What is it that excites you about the idea of being with a man?”I couldn’t believe she was asking me these questions, but I knew that she wouldn’t stop until I answered her. I paused and thought about how to respond. But I didn't have to, she knew.“Listen to me, I know you’re a man, I’ve never doubted that. But I know that you are a kind, sweet, delicate person who is closer to my role as a woman with your father than you are to his role of being the man in my relationship with. After a little haggling I got her down to the $1,200 I could afford and told her I had to run to the bank to get the cash. I was back within an hour and left the Plymouth in front of her house with the ‘For Sale’ sign on it. I sold the Plymouth for enough to get new tires and an oil change for the Chevy. I took the Chevy to Monterey, down on the coast, to meet with Dave Letterman, play golf and hype a script of mine to him. I was a little early so I stopped at a strip mall in Seaside and went into a doughnut shop for a cup of cheap coffee. A girl who worked in the auto mechanics shop near by was smoking a cigarette in my car and caressing the steering wheel when I came out. She smiled, blushed, and said she was sitting in my car because her daddy didn’t like her smoking. I guess I’m a sucker for a pretty girl, especially one who had dimples in her cheeks and significant attributes in her tube top. I got in on the passengers side, drank my coffee and flirted with her to pass the hour.
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