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The look on Pete’s face was deadly serious and to be completely honest this frightened me. “…just know that he knows he’s being watched.”Next, why did Pete talk positively about Francis after the hospital revelations and allow me to go to him, especially expecting me to stay the night. As I have said, some of it was down to his self-esteem issues, the other part was he was still terrified of me leaving with Francis. He thought it he spoke badly of Francis it would push me more and more to him and felt he had failed totally with the events of that Saturday night. Yet even through all this his voice said it was exactly what he should have expected, he had had an excellent run with me and should be grateful for that. Thankfully now he is understanding that his childhood fears and concerns are just those and although they should not be forgotten they should be left there. There were of course some arguments from him about his size and low sperm count, but again this is being worked. Miller and I haddiscussed."I just don't know. Half the time I am gung-ho about being a woman andabsolutely know it is the right thing to do because there is a womaninside of me demanding to be free. The rest of the time I wonder if Iwant to be a woman because I want to be everything that is the oppositeof my father." How will you decide what is right?" Oh I know what is right. I am Andrea. I just don't know why. Is thatimportant." It could be Andrea. If you make the right choice for the wrong reasonsit is no big deal. You can work out the whys later. But making the wrongchoice not only leads to practical complications but many people beatthemselves up with the "what ifs" and the "how could Is". A customer walked in and I raised my head. Neither Paul nor Marnie werein the showroom so I stood up and walked towards her getting ready tomake my standard greeting. Halfway there I almost stumbled. The womanwas in her early thirties and with out doubt the most beautiful woman Ihave ever.
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