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A look exchanged here, a mutual smile there, an accidental touching that lingered a little longer than necessary, all producing the mutual awareness that strong feelings had developed between them. After the question about staying the winter, Sue cleaned up the supper remains and did the dishes at the dry sink in the corner "kitchen." Jase had meanwhile banked the fireplace fire for the night. Sue went up to her loft bedroom and changed into her night shift. Jase had peeled down to his red handlebars and crawled beneath his blankets.Jase lay awake, thinking. What do I want? where am I going? I should have gone home long ago. Is anyone still alive back home? Did Jesse get home? What does Sue want? Should I stay here come spring?Jase mused on these thoughts for over an hour and, preoccupied with such thinking, he didn't hear the stealthy descent of Sue from the loft, nor her quiet approach across the cabin. He was unaware of her until he suddenly smelled her presence, her lilac. She went on to say that she'sfelt that something was wrong since a young age and, whilst she nowrealised what it is, she was having difficulty coming to terms with it.With a hint of sadness she added that she really wanted to spend therest of her life like this but was scared to take the first steps andwas hoping that I could give her some reassurance and advice.I told her that it would be my pleasure and then asked her about her"sixth sense" and how she knew I was transgender. She told me that itwas a little bit like a car that's overdue for a service. Most peoplewouldn't know but a garage mechanic would immediately realise because ofsmall telltale signs. She said that she'd spent so long watchingYouTube transition videos that she was able to spot the signs that, ontheir own, would not give anything away but, together, told the story.I asked her what would have happened if I'd told her I wasn'ttransgender when she asked.Petra laughed as she answered. "Well, let me first say.
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