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The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my bloody fault!”Compliments of a shy reader... A Man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.The wife asks, “Do you know her?”“Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”“My goodness!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice picnic tables, Horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees.The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back. I open the email window. There is an email from Pete. WE THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL NIGHT. THAT WAS JUST A WARM UP FOR WHAT IS TO COME. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN IT COULD COST YOU FOR FREEDOME FOR A WEEKEND. I page down and see there is a photo attached to the email. I click on it to open it. I jump back and get so wet. It's of me on my stomach tied in the leotard and tights. I find myself getting soaked. I see my feet pointing toward the sky. I feel my hand slip down between my legs. Shelly suddenly walks in and almost catches me.Shelly sits in the chair that is across my desk. She starts to cry. "Teddy left me." She says without me even asking. "What happened?" I asked wondering why I did. "He said that I was just not right for him and that I should quit my job because I work for a bitch of a boss. I told him that I loved my job and the person I worked for. I felt she was a good friend and I wouldn't quit for him or anyone else." So he kicked me off his motorcycle on the corner.
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