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”Mike sat on my right side plastered firmly against me. I pressed back. If he wants close he will have close. I ate with my left hand while teasing Mike under the table with my right hand. I am right-handed but eating with my left hand was okay because nothing needed to be cut with a fork or knife.After lunch, I insisted that Mike take a full glass of lemonade with him to his room. I carried two full glasses. Once in his room, I insisted that he drink at least half of his lemonade. “Ed insists that we keep our guests hydrated,” I explained while drinking a full glass myself.“Z, you asked me to look for a non-staff lady I would like to fuck. Actually, you said ‘fun times’ but was I correct in thinking ‘fuck’?”“You were correct. Did you find a lady you would like to fuck after me?”“It will never happen but the little blonde girl who is so obviously connected the scary big guy.”“Oh, Jay’s girlfriend Pam. She is the sweetest little lady. I will try to setup a partner swap in their room. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns on his legs.He was starting to blister and in pain by the time the doctor arrived. To help, the doctor prescribed an IV with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.The attending nurse was rather surprised by the prescription and asked, “What good will Viagra do him?”The doctor replied, “It will keep the sheets off his legs.”A recruit who wasn’t really m A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them.Despondent, he said to the sergeant, “I think I’ll just go and shoot myself.”The sergeant said, “Better take a couple of extra bullets!”Little Johnny’s Confession The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at.
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