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My birth name is Nicholas, but friends call me Nicky. Some even call me Teddy. You will learn why later. I’m not the tallest chap in the world or even the best looking. But I do have big hands if you know what I mean. More importantly, I learnt very quickly how to please a girl. Not right now obviously. First, I needed to learn the art of seduction.“it’s time Teddy” Lousy said, as the three of us sat in the beer garden of our local pub, sucking cola through a straw, from a refundable glass bottle and scoffing salt and vinegar flavoured crisps, while our parents were inside knocking back the real stuff, “to introduce you to pussy!” “what the fuck,” I believe, was my first response. “Shut-up you shit and listen” growled my brother Johnny. Lousy then explained that her friend Wendy had agreed, for a fee, to show me around a woman’s body. To be frank I was shitting myself when she first told me. I knew Wendy as we all went to the same school together, but she was three years older than. On every TV show.”“How does that affect you personally?”“I just don’t wanna see it!”“So anything that isn’t just like you should be censured.”“Now, I ain’t say all that. Y’all liberals always tryin’ to put words in our mouths.”“Not true, Woodtick. I’m just trying to clarify.”“What I mean is this. I’m a straight White man and it’s like I don’t fit in America no more.”Fredrick thought for a moment. “I can see how you might say that. Have you considered that other people want to have the same privileges according to what you have?”“What privileges,” protested Woodtick.“Like earlier. You said you were a cop and that I should just have fallen back. Or how you referred to me with a derogatory term.”“You were threatenin’ me.”“Was I? Was my tone or body language aggressive? Honestly?”“Maybe not.”They drank more beer and continued talking.“Can I show you somethin’ in the house,” asked Woodtick tossing another can.“Sure!”“This is my den.”“Okay,” Fredrick took in the confederate theme. “What.
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