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What do they know about football? And you should see the headlines in the papers. Even my coach thinks I'm shot." You mean Jimmy," the wizard interjected. "He has no room to talk. He must have forgotten how I helped him out with that Herschel Walker trade." Yeah, well, that's not exactly my problem, is it?" No, it's not. So, tell me Dan, how can I help you this time?" Jimmy's sure to cut me or trade me after this season, and I don't want to finish my career with the Saints. Or worse yet, the Bengals. So, this is it, I've decided. But I want to go out a winner." But you are a winner, Dan. Look at all you've accomplished. Over 61,000 yards passing. More touchdown passes than anyone has ever thrown. You're a legend." Hey, the records are great, but after you gave me that spell, I expected to win championships." That's not what you asked for, Dan. Remember? You specifically told me you wanted to be the greatest quarterback of all time. And many people regard you as such. Isn't that. "It's simple, really. When I change into Dana,I just wish I became really beautiful. I wish my hair was real, my facewas feminine and without the shadow, and my throat was slender withoutthis awful bump in the middle." (I self-consciously touched my "golfball," and winced. "And while we're at it, it would be nice to be ridof these bags under my eyes, too. Then there's other things--my handsare too big, my arms are so long that nothing fits..." Wait! I get the idea," said the wizard. "Fact is, you do a pretty goodjob on yourself but it's easy to see what you lack and what you need."(I blushed at that.) "Fortunately, all that is easy for me to take careof." But, I don't want to completely change into a woman! I know many ofyour customers come in here wanting that. More important, many come innot even dreaming of it, and they walk out of here transformedforever!" I was getting kind of scared now, not knowing where this wasgoing to lead, and certainly not wanting to make the wizard.
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