Sharon was going to one of heractivist’s meetings (she was always protestingsomething) so Kayla and I went to the movies. Shepicked out Gladiator, and it turned out to be a verymomentous choice. In the movie, Joaquin Phoenix plays the Emperorof Rome who is infatuated with his own sister. Allthrough the movie he kept trying to seduce her,finally blackmailing her into being his lover. Kaylakept casting glances at me, grinning, but it made meuncomfortable. It made me realize how much I desiredmy own sister. How much I’d fallen in love with her. On the drive home afterward, Kayla was thoughtful. “Why do you think he was like that?” she asked me,meaning the Emperor in the movie. “I mean, he’s richand powerful, he could have any woman in the world. Why his own sister?” I was glad she couldn’t see my face in thedarkened car. “Maybe,” I suggested, “he just thoughtshe was the most beautiful and desirable woman he’dever known. No one else would do.” “Oh,” she replied,. That he always seemedhappy with what he was given, and never asked for more, excited me and,perversely, made me want to give him more. Intimacy with me was a giftthat I gave freely and he was always so thankful and grateful that it wasalways a pleasure to give again.One day we were alone together in my bedroom, with his arms about me andhis head resting on my chest. I took his hand and guided it to my thigh,up under my skirt, to my panties. He propped his head up and looked at meand I let him know, by my expression, that it was time to go all the way.I knew I was being reckless but something made me feel I had to do this.When he took his shirt off I noticed, perhaps for the first time, how broadhis shoulders and chest were and how muscly his arms and legs. He seemed aboy to me, and to himself as well I think, but I could suddenly see that hehad grown, was still growing, into a man. When he held me I felt anunfamiliar warmth. In a moment we were naked together. We were.
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