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He buttoned his coat again and then got out of the car, leading William into the restaurant by his arm. Things like that were different during the daytime. Ryan lead William into places, touched his arm, but he didn’t need to take care of him most of the time. Not like at night or when William broke down. During the day he was perfectly content to let William run about like a fucked up idiot, eat bad food, and watch terrible made-for-TV movies. He generally watched the other boy over the pages of a book or while cooking dinner. Not amused, but not concerned or annoyed. Just watching. At night it was a different story. Night started the minute Ryan put William’s supper onto a plate and set it down in front of him while William sipped at a glass of wine (it was almost always wine). Then Ryan would sit down and they would eat silently while the television played in the background because William never remembered to turn it off when he left the living room. Then William would put the. The quicker I could make them cum, the more powerful I felt. This was my ultimate addiction. I 'lived' to be 'the best you'll ever have.' It didn't matter that most of the time they didn't come close to showing me that same kind of pleasure. I have never allowed myself to ever fully lose control in the bedroom and enjoy the pleasures of sex. I am so busy performing and being the perfect 'Pornstar' that I never really enjoyed what they did to me. I have however faked orgasms to the point of being an 'Oscar Award' winning performer. Every single one of those poor guys believed beyond a doubt that he was 'The Best' I would ever have. That just proved how convincing my performances were, and that was the whole point. Them losing all control because of 'Little Old Me' was my ultimate orgasm. Teaching this man the pleasures of sex and making him lose all control because of me would be my ultimate high. It's been a long while since I've been able to feel like that and I needed to see if I.
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