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He was attractive but not some model either. But the combination of looks and especially his personality and wit were devastating to me. We decided to go to my room and look in the paper and take in a movie. Not exactly what I was hoping for but could be an interesting way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I was sitting at the desk looking at the paper and he came over and kissed the back of my neck. Well that was it. I turned and we kissed…tentatively then deep and soul searching. We never did see that movie. Needless to say the reality far exceeded any imaginary encounter I could come up with. We actually never even had intercourse that day (no condoms and could not find any close to the hotel). We kept seeing each other for a few months. Each time we did it became harder and harder. The sex was amazing but what was worse we truly cared for each other. My marriage was ending, and not because of this, but his was not and he had small children who he was devoted to. In another place and. I’d made arrangements for Emily to be at the University Childcare Center while I went to classes. But that didn’t mean I was ready to leave my two-week-old baby with someone else. I was a wreck. I stood outside the door of the childcare center for ten minutes crying. I wanted to rush back in and rescue my daughter.Lily had gone to Babies-R-Us and got me some supplies. A breast pump and baggies for the milk that went into the bottles. When I delivered the breast milk to the girl at the daycare, she smiled and actually engaged me in a conversation about how it was working for me and how long I planned to keep expressing milk for my child. The girl wasn’t much older than me, but she was one of those hippie earth mother types who was all for doing everything naturally. She wanted to know if I’d managed a completely natural childbirth or if I’d had an epidural. I don’t remember anyone having offered me one. I probably would have said yes.I had a hard time using the breast pump the first.
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